How to Survive and Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship
Friday, January 29 • advice, long distance relationship, milso,
It has been over a year now since Daniel moved across the country, making us an official "long distance relationship couple." Before he moved, we lived a little over 100 miles away from each other for a year; so we have been apart for over 2 years now. One of the biggest things I have learned is that you definitely need a gallon of chocolate ice cream in the freezer at all times! Some days it is really really difficult because you miss your significant other (SO) like no other. What I have experienced is if you keep yourself busy with school/work/friends then it is a little easier. Also, distance definitely does make love stronger and that kiss sweeter! I'm not an expert with long distance relationships but I feel like our relationship has grown so much over these past two years and I wanted to share a few tips that I have learned...
To do:
1. Communication: Make sure you communicate a lot! It can be really challenging to explain yourself and really make sure the other person knows what you are trying to say. Daniel and I text a lot so it can be really difficult to understand the whole picture. Whenever we don't get what the other person is saying, we just ask "what do you mean" or "can you explain it better?" If texting isn't working, we will call each other to get things figured out.
2. Trust: This is the #1 thing in long distance relationships! You need to fully trust the other person or else it just isn't going to work out. I'm not going to lie, the hardest thing I have done is say goodbye to Daniel at the airport. However, I know that I trust him and know that he will be faithful to me and not do anything that would put our relationship on the rocks. I will talk about honesty later but you need to be honest and tell your significant other everything so that they can trust you even more.
3. Create a memory box: Daniel and I started our memory box a few years ago (before he left). I cherish our box so much because it contains pieces of our life. I recommend making one of these and putting little mementos into it that remind you of your SO. Then, when you are especially sad/missing them, you can open the box and reminisce on all the fun you have had. I also would make a bucket list of all the things you want to do together. These can be little things like cook dinner together to big things like go to London together (this is on our bucket list currently). The box and list will give you memories from the past as well as things to look forward to in the future.
4. Make time for each other: We always take a few min (or hours) out of our busy lives to talk to each other. Whether it is a quick "goodnight, I love you" phone call or a 2 hour face time call, we get the chance to hear the other's voice. I know that hearing his voice makes me so much happier. I can seriously be in the worst mood ever and when he calls me to say he loves me, I'm instantly happier! Face Time is also the greatest thing ever invented. This gives you and your SO the chance to see each other's face. You can see their eyes light up, their smile spread across their face and you can pretend for a min that they are there with you again. I think it is extremely important to take just a moment to talk with you SO over something other than texts because it builds a stronger relationship.
5. Establish practical expectations for each other when you are apart: It is easy to say "don't hangout with the opposite sex" "don't go out drinking" "don't do this or that.." However, you cannot do that. You need to set up practical expectations. If you don't want your SO going out partying just let them know what you expect from them and come to an agreement. You don't want to seem controlling but at the same time I think it is good to know what you expect from each other. By establishing expectations, you avoid arguments down the road.
6. Always be honest: This goes along with my earlier point of trust. You have to be honest with your SO so that you can gain mutual trust. One important thing is knowing that you have to tell the whole truth even if you know it will upset the other. Don't leave out parts of the story or make slight alterations. If it is something they will get upset about, you probably shouldn't have done it in the first place, but it happened so there is no point in dancing around the topic. When it is all on the table, it is easier to talk through issues and make your relationship grow stronger.
7. Plan trips to see your significant other: This is a big part of what keeps me going! I always have a countdown to when I get to see Daniel next. It really helps me when I'm having a bad day because I look and see that I'm going to see him in 44 days (this is the current count as I'm writing this) which makes me happy. I know it isn't always easy to see each other because traveling can be very difficult and expensive but I think it is very important to save up so you can take that trip. Daniel and I went 4 months and 18 days without seeing each other so when I got to see him at the airport it was one of the best days of my life.
8. Write letters: When Daniel was at Officer Candidate School (12 weeks), I wrote him a letter every single day. While he only got to write me a few times, those letters were the absolute best! I cannot emphasize how much a hand written letter means. In this day of age, everyone texts/emails and it just doesn't feel as personal as a letter. Don't get me wrong, I love waking up to long texts from him but there is just something about seeing his handwriting that makes it so much more meaningful.
Do Not:
1. Assume: You know what they say when you assume... you make and ass out of you and me. This is a very true statement! If you assume it almost always will lead to an argument; so just avoid it. It will make being in a long distance relationship so much easier if you don't assume things.
2. Get upset if they don't respond right away: We have definitely fallen for this one because it can be difficult to realize the other might actually be doing something. I think the worst thing I do is call him over and over after about an hour or two of him not answering because I get worried haha. So basically, don't get upset if they don't respond to a text or have to call you back a little later. Life is busy and while all you want to do is talk to the other person, it is difficult.
3. Be controlling: Please don't tell your significant other what they can and cannot do. I have seen relationships like this and it is so unhealthy. You should establish expectations like I mentioned earlier, but don't control them.
Well thats about all I have for now! Let me know in the comments if you have any other tips for long distance relationships. Also, feel free to contact me (in the contact tab) if you ever need someone to talk to. I know that being in a long distance relationship can get extremely difficult (especially when the Military is involved) so I'm always here to chat.
Thanks for reading my blog!
Beer Budget, Champagne Taste
Wednesday, January 6 • beauty, fashion, girly, how to, quick guide, review
I absolutely love shopping, high end clothes and beautifully crafted purses but lets face it, I can't afford it right now. This is why I have found ways to buy the things I want while staying within my college budget. So without further adieu, here are my secrets..
1. One major thing that I do is buy clothes that will be in style for awhile, will hold up over time and match a variety of my other clothes. Another factor that needs to be considered is where I live. Living in Washington, we get a lot of snow, long springs and short summers which means that I can't dress head-to-toe in Lilly Pulitzer, unfortunately. However, I can and do buy classic/preppy pieces that can be worn in a variety of different ways to match the different seasons.
2. The second thing I do is shop second hand! Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Macklemore on you and tell you to go get the fur coat from the thrift shop down the road.. But I will tell you that there are some amazing apps and websites that you can buy nice quality second hand items from. I buy and sell almost all of my clothes on websites like these:
Poshmark - This is my favorite app and website to buy from. I have always had good experiences with sellers on there and will continue to use it to buy and sell my clothes. My favorite purchases: a new Coach purse, a Lilly Pulitzer wristlet and a pair of like new Steve Madden wedges (all for $50). If you download this app, make sure to put in the code HOCBY to get $10 off your first purchase!
Facebook Free and For Sale - Almost all cities and college towns have one of these pages, you just need to find it and ask to join it. The only thing is, there can be some bad pieces and people on the page. Always be careful when meeting someone and make sure you inspect the item before you buy. My favorite purchases: new Lululemon leggings, Hunter boot socks, Coach purse and Lululemon 1/4 zip (all for under $100).
Mercari - I love this app to sell my clothes on. For the time being, they are offering no commission which means that prices are significantly lower than Poshmark since the seller gets all the proceeds. The only thing that I don't like about Mercari is that they don't have a website so you have to shop through the app. Overall, I love Mercari and find myself gravitating toward it. One thing to be cautious of on any site like this is the quality and condition. If you are ever not sure, make sure and ask the seller for more pictures. My favorite purchases: Rebecca Minkoff Mini Mac, Lilly Pulitzer workout tank and Vineyard Vines Shep shirt (all under $100). If you download the app, use the code CCFYTV to get $2 off!
Keeks - This is a website that I have not purchased from but know is reputable. I have heard many wonderful things about Keeks and when I purchase another designer purse someday, I will definitely purchase through here! They buy designer bags and shoes from people and resell them at amazing prices. Go check it out if you are in the market for a beautiful bag!
3. Another thing I do is shop at stores that carry the same amazing clothes as designers but cut the prices. I love to find cute pieces that are similar to a certain design but don't carry the hefty price tag. Some of my favorite places to shop for things like this are:
TJ Maxx - I am a Maxxinista! I love all of their clothes, home items and shoes. TJ Maxx also sells some name brand things at a major discount. I recently got a Guess dress for NYE that was originally $108 but I took it home for only $30.
Ross - I love Ross for the same reason I love TJ Maxx. They have the best deals that I just can't pass up sometimes! I always go there to get wall art because they have the best canvas prints for the best prices. I found some Steve Madden combat boots for $20 last year and a fur vest for $15 this year.
Shop Riff Raff - I love this online store! If you didn't notice, the picture for this post is from Shop Riff Raff because I love their clothing. They have some wonderful shirts, dresses and accessories that won't break the bank. They also offer free shipping on everything so its perfect for a college student who has to get everything shipped to her door. If you are looking for some cute clothes then check them out!
Target - I am obsessed with Target. Everything about Target makes me happy! My absolute best secret is how I got Hunter look alike boots for only $40. I purchased a pair of coral rain boots from Target that look exactly like Hunters but don't have the label on the front. I then purchased Hunter boot socks on Facebook and put them into my perfect Target boots. The Target and Hunter boots are the same material, same size/shape and have the same tread. I received a pair of real Hunters for a gift and honestly, I liked the fit of my Target boots better!
4. Finally, I have to admit that I do splurge on some things. I have splurged on a couple North Face and Columbia jackets because I need them and wear them everyday. Another thing I splurged on was a pair of Nordstrom ankle booties. They are real leather and are absolutely perfect for my style so they were worth the splurge. The final thing that I splurge on is nice business clothes. Being an accounting student, I need a nice wardrobe for interviews and meetings so I splurge on blazers, pants and under shirts.
Overall, I try to be a savvy shopper and not overspend on clothes. At the end of the day, a lot of brands are just expensive because of the name (but don't get me wrong, I still love them). Also, a lot of second hand clothes are really nice so make sure to check them out next time you are looking to update your wardrobe. Let me know if you have any other smart shopper tricks, I'm always up for finding deals! Thank you for reading my blog!
Shop this post:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
