How to Survive and Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship
Friday, January 29 • advice, long distance relationship, milso,
It has been over a year now since Daniel moved across the country, making us an official "long distance relationship couple." Before he moved, we lived a little over 100 miles away from each other for a year; so we have been apart for over 2 years now. One of the biggest things I have learned is that you definitely need a gallon of chocolate ice cream in the freezer at all times! Some days it is really really difficult because you miss your significant other (SO) like no other. What I have experienced is if you keep yourself busy with school/work/friends then it is a little easier. Also, distance definitely does make love stronger and that kiss sweeter! I'm not an expert with long distance relationships but I feel like our relationship has grown so much over these past two years and I wanted to share a few tips that I have learned...
To do:
1. Communication: Make sure you communicate a lot! It can be really challenging to explain yourself and really make sure the other person knows what you are trying to say. Daniel and I text a lot so it can be really difficult to understand the whole picture. Whenever we don't get what the other person is saying, we just ask "what do you mean" or "can you explain it better?" If texting isn't working, we will call each other to get things figured out.
2. Trust: This is the #1 thing in long distance relationships! You need to fully trust the other person or else it just isn't going to work out. I'm not going to lie, the hardest thing I have done is say goodbye to Daniel at the airport. However, I know that I trust him and know that he will be faithful to me and not do anything that would put our relationship on the rocks. I will talk about honesty later but you need to be honest and tell your significant other everything so that they can trust you even more.
3. Create a memory box: Daniel and I started our memory box a few years ago (before he left). I cherish our box so much because it contains pieces of our life. I recommend making one of these and putting little mementos into it that remind you of your SO. Then, when you are especially sad/missing them, you can open the box and reminisce on all the fun you have had. I also would make a bucket list of all the things you want to do together. These can be little things like cook dinner together to big things like go to London together (this is on our bucket list currently). The box and list will give you memories from the past as well as things to look forward to in the future.
4. Make time for each other: We always take a few min (or hours) out of our busy lives to talk to each other. Whether it is a quick "goodnight, I love you" phone call or a 2 hour face time call, we get the chance to hear the other's voice. I know that hearing his voice makes me so much happier. I can seriously be in the worst mood ever and when he calls me to say he loves me, I'm instantly happier! Face Time is also the greatest thing ever invented. This gives you and your SO the chance to see each other's face. You can see their eyes light up, their smile spread across their face and you can pretend for a min that they are there with you again. I think it is extremely important to take just a moment to talk with you SO over something other than texts because it builds a stronger relationship.
5. Establish practical expectations for each other when you are apart: It is easy to say "don't hangout with the opposite sex" "don't go out drinking" "don't do this or that.." However, you cannot do that. You need to set up practical expectations. If you don't want your SO going out partying just let them know what you expect from them and come to an agreement. You don't want to seem controlling but at the same time I think it is good to know what you expect from each other. By establishing expectations, you avoid arguments down the road.
6. Always be honest: This goes along with my earlier point of trust. You have to be honest with your SO so that you can gain mutual trust. One important thing is knowing that you have to tell the whole truth even if you know it will upset the other. Don't leave out parts of the story or make slight alterations. If it is something they will get upset about, you probably shouldn't have done it in the first place, but it happened so there is no point in dancing around the topic. When it is all on the table, it is easier to talk through issues and make your relationship grow stronger.
7. Plan trips to see your significant other: This is a big part of what keeps me going! I always have a countdown to when I get to see Daniel next. It really helps me when I'm having a bad day because I look and see that I'm going to see him in 44 days (this is the current count as I'm writing this) which makes me happy. I know it isn't always easy to see each other because traveling can be very difficult and expensive but I think it is very important to save up so you can take that trip. Daniel and I went 4 months and 18 days without seeing each other so when I got to see him at the airport it was one of the best days of my life.
8. Write letters: When Daniel was at Officer Candidate School (12 weeks), I wrote him a letter every single day. While he only got to write me a few times, those letters were the absolute best! I cannot emphasize how much a hand written letter means. In this day of age, everyone texts/emails and it just doesn't feel as personal as a letter. Don't get me wrong, I love waking up to long texts from him but there is just something about seeing his handwriting that makes it so much more meaningful.
Do Not:
1. Assume: You know what they say when you assume... you make and ass out of you and me. This is a very true statement! If you assume it almost always will lead to an argument; so just avoid it. It will make being in a long distance relationship so much easier if you don't assume things.
2. Get upset if they don't respond right away: We have definitely fallen for this one because it can be difficult to realize the other might actually be doing something. I think the worst thing I do is call him over and over after about an hour or two of him not answering because I get worried haha. So basically, don't get upset if they don't respond to a text or have to call you back a little later. Life is busy and while all you want to do is talk to the other person, it is difficult.
3. Be controlling: Please don't tell your significant other what they can and cannot do. I have seen relationships like this and it is so unhealthy. You should establish expectations like I mentioned earlier, but don't control them.
Well thats about all I have for now! Let me know in the comments if you have any other tips for long distance relationships. Also, feel free to contact me (in the contact tab) if you ever need someone to talk to. I know that being in a long distance relationship can get extremely difficult (especially when the Military is involved) so I'm always here to chat.
Thanks for reading my blog!
Beer Budget, Champagne Taste
Wednesday, January 6 • beauty, fashion, girly, how to, quick guide, review
I absolutely love shopping, high end clothes and beautifully crafted purses but lets face it, I can't afford it right now. This is why I have found ways to buy the things I want while staying within my college budget. So without further adieu, here are my secrets..
1. One major thing that I do is buy clothes that will be in style for awhile, will hold up over time and match a variety of my other clothes. Another factor that needs to be considered is where I live. Living in Washington, we get a lot of snow, long springs and short summers which means that I can't dress head-to-toe in Lilly Pulitzer, unfortunately. However, I can and do buy classic/preppy pieces that can be worn in a variety of different ways to match the different seasons.
2. The second thing I do is shop second hand! Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Macklemore on you and tell you to go get the fur coat from the thrift shop down the road.. But I will tell you that there are some amazing apps and websites that you can buy nice quality second hand items from. I buy and sell almost all of my clothes on websites like these:
Poshmark - This is my favorite app and website to buy from. I have always had good experiences with sellers on there and will continue to use it to buy and sell my clothes. My favorite purchases: a new Coach purse, a Lilly Pulitzer wristlet and a pair of like new Steve Madden wedges (all for $50). If you download this app, make sure to put in the code HOCBY to get $10 off your first purchase!
Facebook Free and For Sale - Almost all cities and college towns have one of these pages, you just need to find it and ask to join it. The only thing is, there can be some bad pieces and people on the page. Always be careful when meeting someone and make sure you inspect the item before you buy. My favorite purchases: new Lululemon leggings, Hunter boot socks, Coach purse and Lululemon 1/4 zip (all for under $100).
Mercari - I love this app to sell my clothes on. For the time being, they are offering no commission which means that prices are significantly lower than Poshmark since the seller gets all the proceeds. The only thing that I don't like about Mercari is that they don't have a website so you have to shop through the app. Overall, I love Mercari and find myself gravitating toward it. One thing to be cautious of on any site like this is the quality and condition. If you are ever not sure, make sure and ask the seller for more pictures. My favorite purchases: Rebecca Minkoff Mini Mac, Lilly Pulitzer workout tank and Vineyard Vines Shep shirt (all under $100). If you download the app, use the code CCFYTV to get $2 off!
Keeks - This is a website that I have not purchased from but know is reputable. I have heard many wonderful things about Keeks and when I purchase another designer purse someday, I will definitely purchase through here! They buy designer bags and shoes from people and resell them at amazing prices. Go check it out if you are in the market for a beautiful bag!
3. Another thing I do is shop at stores that carry the same amazing clothes as designers but cut the prices. I love to find cute pieces that are similar to a certain design but don't carry the hefty price tag. Some of my favorite places to shop for things like this are:
TJ Maxx - I am a Maxxinista! I love all of their clothes, home items and shoes. TJ Maxx also sells some name brand things at a major discount. I recently got a Guess dress for NYE that was originally $108 but I took it home for only $30.
Ross - I love Ross for the same reason I love TJ Maxx. They have the best deals that I just can't pass up sometimes! I always go there to get wall art because they have the best canvas prints for the best prices. I found some Steve Madden combat boots for $20 last year and a fur vest for $15 this year.
Shop Riff Raff - I love this online store! If you didn't notice, the picture for this post is from Shop Riff Raff because I love their clothing. They have some wonderful shirts, dresses and accessories that won't break the bank. They also offer free shipping on everything so its perfect for a college student who has to get everything shipped to her door. If you are looking for some cute clothes then check them out!
Target - I am obsessed with Target. Everything about Target makes me happy! My absolute best secret is how I got Hunter look alike boots for only $40. I purchased a pair of coral rain boots from Target that look exactly like Hunters but don't have the label on the front. I then purchased Hunter boot socks on Facebook and put them into my perfect Target boots. The Target and Hunter boots are the same material, same size/shape and have the same tread. I received a pair of real Hunters for a gift and honestly, I liked the fit of my Target boots better!
4. Finally, I have to admit that I do splurge on some things. I have splurged on a couple North Face and Columbia jackets because I need them and wear them everyday. Another thing I splurged on was a pair of Nordstrom ankle booties. They are real leather and are absolutely perfect for my style so they were worth the splurge. The final thing that I splurge on is nice business clothes. Being an accounting student, I need a nice wardrobe for interviews and meetings so I splurge on blazers, pants and under shirts.
Overall, I try to be a savvy shopper and not overspend on clothes. At the end of the day, a lot of brands are just expensive because of the name (but don't get me wrong, I still love them). Also, a lot of second hand clothes are really nice so make sure to check them out next time you are looking to update your wardrobe. Let me know if you have any other smart shopper tricks, I'm always up for finding deals! Thank you for reading my blog!
Shop this post:
San Antonio in a Day
Wednesday, December 30 • adventure, review, texas, travel
Last weekend I got the opportunity to visit San Antonio, Texas with my fiancé for a day before traveling onto Corpus Christi, Texas. After boarding the plane from Washington State, my fiancé posed the question to me if I would like to spend some time in San Antonio to explore the romantic city. Of course I said yes, so we went onto hotwire.com and use the hotel finder feature to book a random 4-star hotel in downtown San Antonio. This method is a fun way to book and discover hotels, if you have an open mind. A little less than $100 later, were pleased to get the Sheraton Gunter Hotel - only 2 blocks away from the River Walk!
As soon as we were checked in, we walked outside and pointed ourselves in the direction of what appeared to be the most festive part of downtown. A few minutes later we happened to stumble upon the River Walk which ended up being only two blocks from our hotel. It was 80 degrees and sunny outside so it was a perfect day to walk up and down the beautiful river and experience the vibrant culture that the area had to offer.
After walking around for a bit and taking in the scenery, we both found our stomachs grumbling at the delicious aromas fuming the area. After a considerable debate, we decided to eat dinner at a delicious Italian restaurant called Paesanos, right on the river. I had the spaghetti with a butter-lemon sauce, while my hubby-to-be enjoyed sausage and cheese stuffed shells. It was a delectable meal paired with a beautiful view! I highly recommend it to anyone who visits San Antonio. We were also recommended to eat at Casa Rio, the oldest Mexican restaurant on the river. We didn't get the chance to eat there but when we visit again it will definitely be on our to-do list!
After dinner, we decided to take a tour boat ride down the river. It was $8.25 but 100% worth every penny. We went at dusk, which I would definitely recommend. It was a memorable experience to see all of the Christmas lights decorating every tree and building come to life and illuminate the night. Our tour guide was a lot of fun and very knowledgeable about the city. You could tell that he really loved his job, which made the tour that much better. This boat ride was the best way to see the entire riverwalk in just an hour. If you have a short period of time, like we did, hop on one of these boats!
After a long day, we accidentally stumbled upon the Alamo on the way back to our hotel. It was late so we did not do the tour through it, but we did take a few pictures and admire the beauty of the mission. This building's design echoes throughout the architecture of San Antonio, but if there is one word to describe what the foundation of the city is built upon, it's diversity. Everywhere you walk, you not only witness the Spanish influence, but the American and even German influence as well.
We were very lucky to have had a beautiful 80 degree day to tour San Antonio! Unfortunately the next day cooled down and was stormy but we were driving back to Corpus Christi anyways; so we grabbed Starbucks and went on our way! For only having a day to explore the city, I think we did a pretty good job of getting an impression of what San Antonio has to offer.
Thank you for reading my blog, if you have any questions feel free to ask!
Serendipity in a Novel
Saturday, December 5 • best of 2015, books, bookworm, review
I am a hands down a bookworm. I absolutely love getting lost in a novel and never being able to put it down. Whether I'm at the beach, stuck inside on a rainy day or on a plane, I will always have a book nearby. This summer I got the chance to read quite a few books because I actually had free-time (for the first time since starting college, 4 years ago)! Below is a list of my favorite books that I have read recently, in no particular order. I have also read all 18 Pretty Little Liar books, and the Maze Runner series (which I would recommend to everyone because they both great series)!
1. Rising Strong: You might think, I'm not really into the whole self-help book thing so I'll skip this one. This book isn't just another self-help book though. It is about being brave and how to pick yourself up when you fall. This book is about how you can live a wholehearted life and fall, pick yourself up and try again. I recommend Rising Strong to everyone who has ever failed at something and struggled to keep going.
2. Where'd you go Bernadette: This book takes place in Seattle and is about a girl who's mother goes missing. The daughter, Bee, puts together many different clues that help her discover the secrets of her mother's past. This is a good book that keeps you reading chapter after chapter.
3. Paper Towns: This book is now a movie, which I refuse to see because I loved the book so much and don't want the movie to ruin it. This book is about a boy who longs to be with a girl. They go out one night and have a fun adventure but when he wakes up in the morning she is gone. The entire book is about him following a paper trail and trying to find her. I got completely caught up in the mystery and couldn't wait to see how it ended!
4. Yes Please: This book is by Amy Poehler and is as funny as she is. There are parts that are sad and parts that are hilarious. She takes you through her life; starting before she even got to hollywood. She is honest and real in this book. She puts it all on the table and it is such a great read! If you like Amy, I'd recommend reading this book.
5. You are a Badass: I picked up this book while walking through Franchesca's Boutique because I though it looked funny. I didn't realize what it was even about but I grew to love it as I read it. It is a self help book but its not a classic one. The author does a fabulous job of integrating humor and instruction into each chapter. The thing that I love most about this book is that she constantly emphasizes "love yourself no matter who you really are."
6. The Martian: This book is also a movie! I'm kind of curious to see how they did the movie since the book was so scientific and "next gen." The Martian is about a group of astronauts who travel to Mars, get caught in a sand storm and have to go back to earth but accidentally leave one man behind. This man is Mark Watney. The beginning of the book is a little dry because it is his entries in a journal while he is all alone on mars. However, the last part of the book keeps you guessing and you won't be able to put it down! I really enjoy science and technology so I found this book really interesting. It might be more challenging to read if you aren't into science but overall it was great!
7. Big Little Lies: I actually just purchased this book the other day so I'm not quite sure how it is.. but this is the description on the cover "Madeline is a force to be reckoned with. She’s funny, biting, and passionate; she remembers everything and forgives no one. Celeste is the kind of beautiful woman who makes the world stop and stare but she is paying a price for the illusion of perfection. New to town, single mom Jane is so young that another mother mistakes her for a nanny. She comes with a mysterious past and a sadness beyond her years. These three women are at different crossroads, but they will all wind up in the same shocking place." I'm excited to read it because it has great reviews!
8. The Vacationers: This book is a quick and easy read. It is a fun novel that keeps you interested. The Vacationers is about a family from NYC who goes on vacation to Spain. It follows the story of a each individual on the trip and slowly unravels family secrets. Its a story about a family who completely falls apart before they put it back together again. I really enjoyed reading this book and think it is perfect to read while you are on vacation.
9. The Art of Racing in the Rain: This book is kind of the opposite of Marley and Me.. The majority of the book is sad but the ending is the happiest ending! It follows the life of a dog, from the dog's perspective. The dog's owner gets cancer and it explains how he reacts to that as a dog. If you have ever wondered what it is like to be a dog, this book is for you! The author does a wonderful job of interpreting dog life. Despite the book being a little sad, it is a great read.
If anyone has any book suggestions, please leave me a comment or send me an email! I'm in need of some good books to take with me to Texas over the holidays! Thanks for reading my blog.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
